• Dana Webster

Parenting Can Suck But So Can Some Parents

Some parents suck at parenting. They have their reasons but when you're a kid you don't know that. You just assume that your parents know you best. They lead you to believe that you are ugly, lazy, stupid, too loud, too quiet, too sensitive, too weird, not polite enough, barely capable, an embarrassment. The thing is, if your parents can't find you lovable or redeeming, no one can, right? Including your self - that lovely, precious essence of you that is born trusting and open and curious.

For those of you who find yourself there, I tell you this: Your parents lied to you. I don't know why and it doesn't matter. They made you believe that you weren't good enough to deserve their love and adoration. They made you believe that you were broken and impossible to fix. They abandoned you and refused to protect you. You did nothing to bring this on. Instead, your parents redirected their own unhealed wounds at you.

People say, Your parents are doing/did their best. To which I respond, "Their best was not good enough. Not by a long shot." When the results of your best are a child who hates themself, a child who has lost all faith and trust in self and lives with the burden of unworthiness, you're not trying hard enough.

What Happened To You Is Not Your Fault But Healing From It Is Your Responsibility

Take in those words. Believe them. Write them on post-it notes and slap them on every wall, mirror, and lampshade you have. Maybe even your forehead. Write it on the back of your hand. Send yourself a text message. This is your new truth, let it sink in.

And then start your healing because no one else can do it for you. Prove your parents wrong. How you feel about yourself need not be a life sentence. It is within your control to change the conversation inside your head, change the story that was made up about you.

Find out if we're a good fit for counselling. Book a free 30-minute consultation.

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